The switch

Last week we had a very rough race, not only for me, but the team as well. There were several crashes, massive headwinds, and a few extra technical turns. We showed up with 13 riders to this race, only 1 finished, 3 crashed, 2 dropped out within the first couple of laps, and the remainder of us were pulled out after half the race. Our race director brought up a point that I hadn't even thought of. I thought I was doing well mentally here, but I have not been 100% commited to the racing.

He said that when we show up, we're entirely too nice to everyone, including ourselves. Some more than others of course. Personally, I know exactly what I messed up on. I wasn't committed, I wasn't saying "that's my wheel and no, you may not squeek in here". I need to race much more aggressive here than I do back home. Back home guys will let me in, they expect me to be in that break so they don't do everything they can to get rid of me. Here it's different. No one wants me in the break, and everyone expects me to let them in. That's going to change. It took my DS mentioning what it was for me to realize what is holding me back. It's not the intensity, it's not the distance, all those we can handle. My power numbers are very good for my size, so it's not a lack of power, it has to do with me being all to willing to allow that wheel to go to the next guy. It's me allowing myself to say "I can move my way back up there, so go ahead, I'll deal with it later" when I need to say "get away from my wheel you (explitive deleted) Belgian, that's mine". They paid only 3E to enter, in reality I paid hundreds if you include the cost of me living here and the flights. That is going to change.

The weather has been a lot like Seattle lately. Very wet, very windy and cold. A big difference from last month when it was the exact opposite. Not a big deal, no sand at least. I really don't mind the wet, in fact it's a rather nice change. The only problem with it is that the guys here don't get it into their head that it's raining. They are so totally used to it, it doesn't really effect them. Not like home where racing in the rain means only 10 guys want to be there, so only 10 actually race. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.